I know I know!

Arrg!! I really detest the post-your-horoscope-as-your-entire-blog-entry crap. However, because it is soo close to the new year I thought I'd share a little bit. Maybe I'll move to a big city and I'll love it! Who knows what the future holds.

Definitely start anew, no matter how it begins or ends.



In the Broadway play Passing Strange, the narrator Stew says, "You know how one morning you wake up as an adult and you realize your entire life is based on a decision you made as a teenager?" If that description applies to you, 2009 will be the best year ever to do something about it. In the coming months, you will have the power to correct errors or misjudgments you made way back when. You'll be able to figure out how to start over in an area of your life that you've always assumed you were doomed to accept just the way it is. You may even find that you can, in a sense, change the past and reconfigure your memories.



I find myself thinking about my future a lot lately. I'm very optimistic that my time is coming. Go to school, travel, trust, gain more friends and love then I know what to do with! I'm going to be okay this year, and it will be better then 2008 (it'll be hard to top! But it can be done!). I believe in myself.

It's about time you start to trust Yourself.

Silence.

There is so much more I could ask for. More that I am in need of.

I hear the humming of the lights. A deep breath.

What am I going to do about you?

Rain Song

The nurse should not be the one who puts salt in your wounds

But its always with trust that the poison is fed with a spoon

When you're helpless with no one to turn to alone in your room

You would swear that the one who would care for you never would leave

She promised and said you will always be safe here with me

But promises open a door to be broken to me



The maid that you've hired could never conspire to kill

She's to mother, not quietly smother you when your most ill

The one that you're trusting suspiciously dusting the sill



All week I have been trying to fully understand what has been taking place in my life. All week I have been trying and lying to myself. All week I have been loved, a lot.

{not a} Waste

Don't want to be an actor pretending on the stage

Don't want to be a writer with my thoughts out on the page

Don't want to be a painter 'cause everyone comes to look

Don't want to be anything where my life's an open book

A dream it's true

But I'd see it through

If I could be

Wasting my time with you

Don't want to be a farmer working in the sun
Don't want to be an outlaw always on the run

Don't want to be a climber reaching for the top

Don't want to be anything where I don't know when to stop

A dream it's true

But I'd see it through

If I could be

Wasting my time with you

So if I'm inside your head

Don't believe what you might have read

You'll see what I might have said

To hear itCome waste your time with me
Come waste your time with me

So if I'm inside your head

Don't believe what you might have read

You'll see what I might have said

To hear it

Come waste your time with me

Come waste your time with me

Come waste your time with me

Come waste your time with me

Come waste your time with me

It is Enough

So many words
So many ways
If you can hear me now
There's something I gotta say.

Just one more talk
Just one more turn
If one's too much then..I just want to say..


Thank you,
For everything
You ever done for me
I just want to say..

Thank you,
For all the things
For saving me.

So many times,
So many days
You helped me through
Walked me through the rain.

So many tears,
Have washed away
If you can hear my voice
There's something I have to say..

Just one more talk
Just one more turn
If one's too much then..I just want to say..

Thank you,
For everything
You ever done for me
I just want to say..

Thank you,
For all the things
For saving me
It's been so long..

They say time will heal everything
Could you send me a sign
To fill the soul in my life
Turn on a light
To help me see through it all
No one left to rescue me
(But no need to) Save me...(Again)

Just one more talk
Just one more turn
If one's too much then
I just want to say..

Thank you,
For everything
You ever done for me
I just want to say..

Thank you,
For all the things
For saving me
I just want to say.

Blow November Blow

all eyes on the calendar

another year i claim of total indifference

to here the days pile up

i'm sure all of them were wrong

with decisions to be made

into this song, i send myself

and with these drinks i plan to collapse and forget

this wasted year

these wasted years

i'm sorry about the phone call and needing you

devoted friends, they disappear

i guess it's like breathing and not wanting to

some decisions you don't make

there are some things that you can't fake

i guess that it is typical

to cling to memories you'll never get back again

and to sort through old photographs of a summer long ago

or a friend that you used to know

and there, below his frozen face

you wrote the name and that ancient date

and you can't believe he is really gone

when all that's left is a f**king song

i'm sorry about the phone call and waking you

i know that its late

but thank you for talking because i needed to

some things just can't wait

Fear

The heat comes in distant shifts to fill up my room
It spills out of these ancient vents to meet the new cold
And I lay in my twisted sheets, and stare out at the snow
Thinking of the next few months, my cold and lifeless eyes
No, I've never felt so separate
Then there's you, but that's so obvious
It's hopeless and I know this, that's why I can't dream
No desire or circumstance keeps it from me

One by one, to department stores, we walk through the aisles
In a forest of designer clothes, you touch me and smile
And know for a moment, I could want nothing
Your bright eyes burn through my exploding heart
We stand as the shoppers pass us
And for once I can feel a touch complete

I need to just be near you and fill these empty eyes
You start turning as resistance pulls you from my cold and boring life
Let's make this easy and let time pass, as devotion dies
The list goes on and on
I have waited, and I'll be waiting for the pain to cure the fear